Wedding toast from a friend

Make this speech your own

Copy the script into your own document, then replace every bracketed marker with a true detail. The examples below are fictional prompts, not facts about the couple. Change or remove any sentence that does not reflect your relationship.

The // mark means pause; do not read it aloud. Use the default script, or swap in one of the openings or closings below. Do not add every alternative to the same speech.

With the fictional examples filled in, the default script is 370 words. At 125 words per minute, that is about three minutes. Your own details and pauses will change the time, so read your finished version aloud and time it.

Details to gather

SPEAKER — What name should you introduce yourself by? Fictional example: Drew

FRIEND — What name does your friend want you to use? Fictional example: Casey

PARTNER — What name does your friend's partner want you to use? Fictional example: Robin

[HOW_KNOWN] — How do you know your friend? Complete 'I've known them since…' Fictional example: our first summer job, scooping ice cream for tourists

STORY — What one story shows who your friend is? Write two or three sentences. Fictional example: One night the freezer broke an hour before closing. Casey handed out free cones to everyone in line, then stayed until midnight helping the manager clean up.

QUALITY — What quality does that story show? Fictional example: Generosity

[ROLE_LIST] — What roles has your friend played in your life? Name three or four. Fictional example: my study partner, my moving crew, my emergency contact and, more than once, my voice of reason

[PARTNER_SEEN] — Where did you first see them together, and what did you notice? Describe something you witnessed. Fictional example: at a friend's birthday dinner, when Robin noticed Casey was cold and handed over a jacket without a word

[COUPLE_DETAIL] — What true thing have you noticed about them together? Fictional example: the way you both light up when the other one walks into the room

WISH — What do you wish for them? Fictional example: a lifetime of shared adventures and friendly arguments about the thermostat

Introduce yourself

Hello, everyone. I'm SPEAKER. I'm not in the wedding party, so I'm grateful to FRIEND and PARTNER for letting me say a few words, and to both families for making all of us feel so welcome today. I promise to keep it short. //

Say how you know them

I've known FRIEND since [HOW_KNOWN]. // Some friendships take years to build. Ours didn't. Pretty quickly, I knew I'd found someone I'd want in my corner for a very long time. // Since then, FRIEND has been [ROLE_LIST]. That's a lot of jobs for one person, and FRIEND has done every one of them without being asked. //

Tell one story

There's one story that I think captures FRIEND perfectly. STORY // That's FRIEND. QUALITY first, everything else second. I've seen it many times since, and I've been on the receiving end of it more than once. //

Welcome the partner

Then PARTNER came into the picture. PARTNER, a lot of people love FRIEND, so you were meeting a tough crowd. You won us over anyway, mostly by being exactly who you are. // The first time I saw the two of you together was [PARTNER_SEEN]. Nobody else seemed to notice. I did. And I remember thinking, this is someone who will look after my friend. //

Speak to both of them

When I see you together, I notice [COUPLE_DETAIL]. That's not something you can fake, and it's a joy to watch. //

Offer the wish and the toast

So my wish for you both is WISH. I hope you keep laughing at the same things and forgiving each other quickly. And I hope your home is a place where friends like me are always welcome, and where the two of you can always be yourselves. // If you have a glass, please lift it with me. To FRIEND and PARTNER. Cheers.

Two optional openings

Good evening. I'm SPEAKER, a friend of FRIEND's, and I'm honored to be asked to say a few words.

Hi, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm SPEAKER, and I've been FRIEND's friend for a long time.

Two optional closings

To FRIEND and PARTNER: may your life together be as generous as the two of you.

Please join me in wishing FRIEND and PARTNER every happiness. Congratulations.

Prepare a version you can say

Check with the couple before the wedding that a guest toast is welcome, and ask where it fits in the program.

Introduce yourself clearly. Many guests won't know how you know the couple.

For a cue card, keep five prompts: how we met, story, partner, wish, toast.

Choose the story with care

Keep the story about your friend at their best. Leave out exes, drinking, money and anything private.

Give the partner equal warmth. If you don't know them well, a sincere wish is better than an invented observation.

Questions before the day

Can a guest give a wedding toast? Yes, if the couple welcomes it. Ask them first and keep it short.

How long should a wedding toast from a friend be? This script runs about three minutes. If the program is full, trim the partner beat and keep the story and the wish.

What should I avoid in a wedding toast? Exes, embarrassing secrets, drinking stories, money and jokes only a few guests will get.