Friendsgiving toast

Make this speech your own

Copy the script into your own document, then replace every bracketed marker with a true detail. The examples below are fictional prompts, not facts about anyone. Change or remove any sentence that does not fit your situation.

The // mark means pause; do not read it aloud. Use the default script, or swap in one of the openings or closings below. Do not add every alternative to the same speech.

With the fictional examples filled in, the default script is 129 words. At 125 words per minute, that is about one minute. Your own details and pauses will change the time, so read your finished version aloud and time it.

Details to gather

HOST — Who is hosting this year? Fictional example: Jordan

[HOW_LONG] — How long has this group been getting together, or how did it start? Complete 'We've been doing this…' Fictional example: since our first apartment with the tiny oven

[GROUP_MOMENT] — What harmless moment from past dinners will the whole group remember fondly? Fictional example: the year the pie stayed in the car until midnight

Get the table's attention

Before anyone reaches for seconds, I'd like to say a few words. I'll be quick, mostly because the potatoes are getting cold. //

Thank the host

Thank you, HOST, for opening your home, cooking for a crowd and trusting all of us with your good plates. //

Name the group's story

We've been doing this [HOW_LONG], and somehow it keeps getting better, even after [GROUP_MOMENT]. Every year something goes a little wrong, and every year we laugh about it together. // Friendsgiving is the one dinner where nobody is here because they have to be. We're here because we chose each other. //

Raise the toast

So please lift whatever you're holding. To the friends at this table, and every year we've spent around it. Happy Friendsgiving.

Two optional openings

Could everyone pause for sixty seconds? I'll be done before dessert.

I'm not the host, but I did ask to give a toast, so here goes.

Two optional closings

To good food, old jokes and the friends who make this table feel like home.

Here's to many more years of this table, whatever ends up on it. Happy Friendsgiving.

Prepare a version you can say

Give the toast once everyone has a plate, before the table splits into side conversations.

Teasing works only when it's about a moment the whole table shared. Pick a story the people involved already tell happily themselves.

Keep your notes to three words: host, history, toast.

Keep the teasing friendly

Keep jokes on shared situations, like a kitchen mishap or a late arrival. Leave out exes, money, drinking, bodies and private news.

If someone is new to the group, add a line that welcomes them so the inside jokes don't leave them out.

Questions before the day

What do you say in a Friendsgiving toast? Thank the host, name one shared memory from your gatherings and toast the friends at the table.

How long should a Friendsgiving toast be? About one minute, like this script. Keep it short so the food stays warm.

Who gives the Friendsgiving toast? Anyone who wants to. Let the host know first so the timing works for the meal.